3 Question Mantra - Habit Change Workshop

This blog is an edited transcription of a video that can be found here!

To accommodate different types of learning styles, this week's blog will appeal to auditory and kinesthetic learners, and next week's blog will appeal to visual learners. If you want to unpack this more please check out our Identifying your goal using the 3 Question Mantra blog post. The goal of this program is to help people make intentional changes to their habits, and bring consciousness to their goals.

Dr. Jeff Kaplan: This coach program that we put together was built on this model of how to help people change. What we're doing today is a demo. So if you're feeling courageous this Friday, begin to think about raising your hand to be part of the demo.

I assure you it should be relatively quick. It all depends on how far we collectively want to go with the demo. We’ll learn this technique that you could apply in your life. The idea here is to help people stay conscious of what it is that they said they want to do and the reason for it. Imagine that, right?

So here's my little setup. If somebody said “there's something out there that's free, that you can take anywhere you want, it doesn't cost you anything, and you don't have to have equipment around for it to work. This thing could help you be aware of what it is you're trying to do so that you can make good choices throughout your day.” Would that be a good thing? Hopefully the answer is yes.

A really quick story for you. When we first started the work in 2005, I tried to get the website habitchange.com, but it turned out it was taken by a psychologist who had created a device. This device is still out there, called Motivator, which is sort of like a beeper-like device, for those of you who know what that is and are as old as I am. It was like a pager that you’d keep around your waist, and it would vibrate periodically throughout the day to remind you of what you were trying to be conscious of. That was the closest thing I could come up with to help people remember their goal throughout the day. For example, say you wanna change something, but throughout the day you forget your goal. You may forget you want to eat healthy, or that you want to exercise, or that you’d like to be nicer to your family. Whatever it is. You might put up a wallpaper on your computer or you might put a little sticky note up or something to help you remember but then eventually it becomes background noise.

So Let’s just talk about what this is and then we’ll demonstrate it, and then once we’ve processed the demo we’ll do some questions and answers and have a dialogue. Who is feeling courageous and is willing to demo?.

Demo:

Jeff: It is new into 2021, right? So is there a particular goal that you're hoping to achieve?

Lisa: Hm. I think it's more of the way I think about things that I'd like to work on.

Jeff: Say more on that.

Lisa: Not to have this attitude that I'm too old to start new things. And, you know, that I don't kind of make my choices based on that kind of a thought pattern. So I'd like to have more flexibility in how I make decisions about what I'm going to spend my time on.

Jeff: So is it about being a flexible decision-maker? What's a word or a couple of words that might capture this? For example, If you were that thing, what would be different?

Lisa: I wouldn't be looking at the end. I'd be looking at the beginning. I wouldn't be saying, “Do I not have enough time left in my life for this?”. I would just be sort of heading into adventures and in a less constrained way. I think it is flexible decision-making but based on these limiting beliefs about my age.

Jeff: Yup. I love it. So what came up for me, is it the words: In flow with life. You know, like just being in flow with life, as opposed to, wrestling with that thing called time, or thinking I'm here at this point in my life, you know, that whole crazy thought process.

Lisa: That sounds right.

Jeff: So in flow with my life, in flow in life, like you speak whatever it sounds like to you and then let's see if it feels right together.

Lisa: In flow works great for me.